Slipper’d Pantaloons: A Parody of the Seven Stages of Man
My friend Tina took me to the theatre to celebrate my birthday.
As we sat in the balcony, I eagerly anticipated Jacques’ famous speech,
one I first heard live on the Goshen College stage.
Do you remember “The seven stages of man” speech?
Here is an old movie version that uses subtitles so you can read the text:
https://youtu.be/qJ2xxvGA7xE
Like so many of Shakespeare’s comedies,
As You Like It does not shy away from the source of greatest tragedy: death.
But instead of littering the stage with bodies at the end (the conclusion of most of the tragedies),
the great playwright straightens out the twisted plot and marries off all the lovers.
The play, therefore, focuses on the “third stage” where lovers sigh like furnaces
and compose ballads to eyebrows.
In their passion and silliness lie the seeds of their future fates.
No matter their generativity or ambition,
no man escapes; the seven stages of man end in oblivion:
“Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”
Thankfully, I still have teeth, eyes, and taste,
so I composed my own “seven stages” speech,
with apologies to the Bard and all of you.
The Seven Stages of Woman
All the world’s a stage
and all the women and men merely players:
they have their exits and their entrances;
and one woman in her time plays many parts,
her acts being seven ages.
At first the infant,
mewling and puking in her mother’s arms:
And then the eager school girl, with her satchel
and shining morning face, fluttering like a butterfly
exchanging farm for school.
How I loved my satchels. 1955
And then the lover,
sighing like a furnace, with a woeful ballad
made to her true love’s stylish sideburn
1969
And the peace activist
sans denim, sans boots, sans sunscreen
going north while the crowd goes south
Washington DC, May 9, 1970
Then the classroom years.
The professor beardless, seeking wisdom,
and then
feeling the weight of the presidential medallion,
she plays her part.
1997.
The sixth age shifts
into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
with spectacles on nose and pouch on side
Jubilación attire.
No last scene yet
but pilgrim days of walking, singing, touching, savoring, listening
in silence and with voice
Avec joy, avec love, avec mischief, avec everything!
*****
All the birthday hoopla is over now.
My family and friends totally surprised me with a book
of stories, poems, pictures, and memories
gathered from all over the country and from many of those seven stages of life.
July 30, 2018
I was overwhelmed with gratitude for all of you,
no matter when or how we met,
no matter whether you contributed to the book or not,
I celebrate all the inter-related stages of all our lives.
This book ranks among my very favorite birthday gifts.
What was your favorite present?
WOW!
Just wow, Wow, WOW! I love it.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading “The Seven Stages of Woman” and seeing the accompanying photographs.
(Pssst, I’m so glad you still have your teeth, eyes, and taste)…
Ha, Laurie. I almost added that the teeth have cost me dearly. Glad you enjoyed.
This was such a fun post to read! Gotta keep our sense of humor through it all! And congrats on your birthday, young thing!
I absolutely agree about humor. Thanks for being a great role model in aging, Alfrieda.
It sounds like you’ve had a wonderful birthday celebration. Wonderful photos!
Thanks, Merril. It truly was a joy. My favorite photo is the sideburn. 🙂
“Slippered pantaloons” and the silky photo linger in my imagination.
And, the photo of the eager scholar….I relate to this, since I have memories of eagerly awaiting my sixth birthday so I could go to school. There was no kindergarten for the country children, so going to first grade was a real thrill.
What a wonderful celebration of a milestone birthday.
Shakespeare has a genius for tickling our imaginations with sounds and images. Any parody will sound tinny in comparison. As a result, the best lines in my parody were written by the bard himself. Thanks for playing, Dolores.
Well done, Shirley: The parody here and the stages in real life through age seventy. I’m definitely near the last stage, joyfully enjoying most of my faculties, thank you very much.
Happy to see the book in hand with or without “slipper’d pantaloons”!
Thanks, Marian, and if you can hang on to those faculties a little while longer, you’ll soon have your own book in hand! 🙂 I know how hard the last part of the process is. Not a country for old women.
Hope you can enjoy slippers and pantaloons too one of these days!
Thank you Shirley for the seven stages, I am grateful that you have not had your ‘final curtain call.’ I thank you for your stories.
Belated happy anniversary of the day you were born.
My favorite gift is a handmade, homemade Velvetine Bear
June, glad you enjoyed the little parody.
A homemade velveteen bear. Sounds like a story behind that present. Hope you write it down and save it with the bear. Are you going to see the new movie about Christopher Robin? It looks good in the previews and just perfect for you, your bear, and your favorite child.
This is sweet, Shirley. Celebratory and thoughtful, a reminder that the awareness of “how it ends” makes every moment of the present more awesome, truthful, and valuable.
My favorite present came this past Mothers’ Day, when my daughter in law made bookmarks from full-length photos of each of my granddaughters. On the front was a cutout image of them in motion, hanging from a ribbon — on the back “Can I “hang” with you while you read?”
The perfect gift for a bookworm grandma.
Such a clever present, Tracy. And it really captures the essence of lap time and reading — true intimacy. I can visualize you with your precious little girls. The gift was for them, also. Good on you, daughter-in-law.
I Love It! I’m so glad you had a wonderful birthday celebration. And welcome to the 70’s. I’ve enjoyed my years in them so far. It’s a time to relax, stretch, and grow with gratitude and love.
You describe the best of slippered pantaloon life, Joan. I’m grateful to have both older and younger friends. You have shown me how to continue nurturing creativity while also embracing your whole life story — all seven stages — the good and the bad.
So wonderful and filled with truth and a nostalgia that touches us all at this age. Happy belated birthday. I’m in my fat wool Ugg slippers as I write this (even in summer my feet are cold!) Lovely. Thanks for sharing.
Glad I’m not the only one who wears lamb’s wool slippers in the summer, Linda. And yes, the nostalgia is coming in thick and fast, but not as much as the gratitude. I know you know what I mean!