Early in our marriage, Stuart and I decided, on a whim, to head to Virginia Beach, a little more than 200 miles away.

Back in the day, no one bothered you if you camped on the beach itself, so that’s what we did.

It seemed wild and daring. We literally dove into this adventure.

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Note the cardboard box –our protection from wind and sand, 1970. My shadow is there, recording the joy of my spontaneous mate.

We are steady, dependable (boring?) people ordinarily.

Until one of us surprises the other and starts a sentence with these sexy words,

“Let’s . . .”

Last weekend we had one of those attacks of spontaneity.

With one hour’s notice, we decided to go to Washington, DC, our closest city.

Our friends on Facebook provided enough advice for a whole week.

We plucked out what fit best with our time and location,

and plunged in.

The White House is always an inspiring sight. The sun shone on our day from beginning to end.

The White House is always an inspiring sight. The sun shone on our day from beginning to end.

Back in 1970, spontaneity looked like this:

Stuart shaves with ocean water in a styrofoam tub, using a hand mirror from my overnight case.

Stuart shaves with ocean water in a styrofoam tub, using a hand mirror from the overnight case used on our honeymoon

In 2015 we “roughed it” less than we did 45 years ago.

But as we chose our path across the National Mall at night, we still had stars in our eyes.

And a hand to hold.

Is spontaneity a welcome spark for you? What have you done on a whim that turned out great? Any spontaneous disasters?

Shirley Showalter

31 Comments

  1. Jerry Waxler on September 23, 2015 at 10:24 am

    I love this post. Something about the parallels of past and present, or perhaps the subject matter of spontaneity, or the company of an old friend who is also your life partner, or the contrast between the night at the beach and the day at the Capitol – or perhaps the resonance of all of these together. Thanks for continuing to use your creative spirit to turn life into a moment of pleasure for your readers.

    Best wishes,
    Jerry Waxler
    Author of Memoir Revolution

    • shirleyhs on September 23, 2015 at 10:40 am

      Hi Jerry, always good to see you here and to receive your slant on the theme. You picked up on both the continuities and differences. It’s been fun to go through old slides at the same time as I am planning lots of new travel this year. One sees things in old slides that could not be seen with younger eyes. 🙂

      • Pat on October 6, 2015 at 6:48 pm

        After qualifying as Registered Nurses in the early 70’s four of us backpacked across Europe and spent several weeks sleeping in hostels or on the beaches of the Greek Islands. 3 of us remain great friends.
        To celebrate retirement my husband and I “backpacked” around Japan,New Zealand ,Australia and South Africa for several months
        No sleeping in hostels or on beaches but fantastic memories from both trips. Hope we never lose our spontaneity or love of travel. If you visit Wales during your UK visit you will be welcome here!

        • shirleyhs on October 7, 2015 at 10:31 am

          Pat, thank you so much for sharing your adventures here. And Wales sounds so attractive. The trip I am going on next Spring takes me to Iona and Lindisfarne and doesn’t have any extra “give” in the schedule. However, I would love to visit Ireland and Wales on another trip.

          I LOVE the idea of celebrating retirement with a pack on your back. Did you actually do that, or did you pull suitcases?

      • Pat on October 6, 2015 at 6:51 pm

        Forgot to say I loved your book and hope you are writing another one to let us know what happened in adulthood!

        • shirleyhs on October 7, 2015 at 10:34 am

          Thank you so much, Pat. Lovely to know BLUSH has at least one friend in Wales.

          I am sharing post-childhood memories here on my blog as I decide whether and when to write a sequel. I call this the “Box in the Basement” project. 🙂

  2. Sharon Lippincott on September 23, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    We had a similarly primitive camping trip our first summer but we were in the Colorado Rockies sleeping on a tarp under the stars. I hope to return to the Rockies, but don’t plan to sleep on rocks again. Isn’t it amazing what seemed exciting and exotic when we were young?

    • shirleyhs on September 23, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      So true, Sharon, some things are best left to the young. Sleeping on rocks is one of them. Ouch!

      When we lived in Austin, 1972-1976, we took a 1976 trip west and camped then also. I’m going through our slides of those days and enjoying feeling the spontaneity without have to freeze again in Yosemite!

  3. Laurie Buchanan on September 23, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    Shirley — I love the photographs, both old and new. Your energetic spirits haven’t changed a bit! I’m still smiling at the cardboard headboard wind-block. Now THAT’S using your resources wisely!

    Our most spontaneous adventure (decades ago) was spending the night in Estes Park, Colorado in an UN-insulated camper shell in 45-degree-BELOW-zero weather. Sometimes Len and I bump our two pointed noggin’s together and there’s not even a spark!

    • shirleyhs on September 23, 2015 at 8:40 pm

      I smiled when I spotted that wind-block too, Laurie. But even more when I tried to picture you and Len, shivering and bumping heads. You have so many creative ways to express yourself in that pointy noggin of yours!

  4. Jessica on September 24, 2015 at 10:14 am

    We took a camping trip too, and slept on rocks even though we were in a tent. Our provisions were a big bag of chocolate chip cookies. Unfortunately we left them outside the tent and the raccoons helped themselves. Thanks for the memories! You always take me back…

  5. Bruce Murphy on September 24, 2015 at 10:42 am

    A spontaneous disaster that turned out great…On our way to meet with my dissertation advisor in Vermont back in the late 60’s Di and I decided to go to upstate New York and camp out…after all it was summertime. It rained that night, or should I say, poured…and it was cold, hardly above freezing. So we hurriedly packed up our tent and went to the nearby outdoor theater, sat in our car with the provided car heater keeping us warm– with some help from each other…and laughed our way through a Paul Newman movie.

    Thanks, Shirley.

  6. Vi Dutcher on September 24, 2015 at 11:13 am

    This is wonderful, Shirley. We’ve talked before about Jon and Stuart look like each other. Jon even had a pullover shirt like Stuart’s back in the 70s. 🙂 I agree that spontaneity keeps the spark. While Jon was alive, we enjoyed those “Let’s…” moments many, times. May you enjoy many more!

    • shirleyhs on September 24, 2015 at 12:07 pm

      Vi, you and Jon did not let a physical disability keep you from many spontaneous moments. So inspiring.

      You have that love for living in the moment now as a gift from your many years with Jon. I know you will continue to keep the spark alive. Like the spark we lit in the paper lanterns, each one of us has the potential to lift off the ground and fly.

  7. Marylin Warner on September 24, 2015 at 11:41 am

    With us, it’s when one of us smiles and says, “Oh, let’s…” Usually it’s followed by some off-the-cuff little adventure that makes us both laugh, roll our eyes, and then jump right in. We’ve had some wonderful getaways.
    I love the picture of your husband shaving with ocean water in a styrofoam bowl. We came home from one of our “spontaneous combustions” with a tiny blue spruce in a styrofoam cup. The spruce was maybe 3″ tall and was growing up through a crack in the rain gutter outside an IHOP. We named it Hoppy, and it’s now almost 3′ tall and growing next to our fence.
    😉

    • shirleyhs on September 24, 2015 at 12:11 pm

      Hoppy! What a perfect name and great story. A “volunteer” that will flourish and grow because you used an item of trash to save it from extinction.

      We have a similar story. We had volunteer maple trees in the flower beds around the 1927-era house when we first bought it in 1979. We planted them along the fence row. Now there is a virtual forest in that back yard.

      Thanks for inspiring the desire for even more “hoppy” moments!

  8. Betty on September 24, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Oh, Shirley. This made me laugh out loud and my mind immediately went to the Labor Day Weekend when Jonathan and I were sitting on the front porch swing lamenting the almost end of summer and the fact that we had not been to the lake once. We agreed spontaneously that we would just take off, find a hotel on the way,and have a romantic little get-away. The pouring rain did not dampen our spirits in the least as we sped away about 4:00 p.m. on Sunday afternoon in our little silver VW Beetle. After dinner we headed up the red arrow highway, to find lodging. But alas, there was some big event and all affordable hotels were full. By this time we were both tired, it was still raining,and we agreed we would just find something. Blinking brightly through the dark was a red neon sign that said “Ray’s Motel.” (Sign #1). “Let’s just find something, I don’t care what, I told Jonathan.” We pulled in and Jonathan went to the front desk to pay for a room .. . “only $64.00,” he said triumphantly. (Sign #2). “Are you sure this place is decent?” I ask apprehensively taking note of the big red pickup truck backed up to the room beside ours with a BBQ grill chained to the front post of the front of the “motel.” (Sign #3) But we were on an adventure, so in we went. Wow. Romantic adventure out the door . . . all clothes on all night including socks and I even considered sleeping in the Beetle rather than with the “beetles” I was sure were in the room. “At least we are dry and warm, ” my husband cheerily announced.” Indeed. To this day, all we have to do is say “Ray’s” and we both break out into howls and rolling of eyes. Good memories . . . after the fact!

    • Betty Schrag on September 25, 2015 at 10:48 am

      Oh, Shirley. This made me laugh out loud and my mind immediately went to the Labor Day Weekend when Jonathan and I were sitting on the front porch swing lamenting the almost end of summer and the fact that we had not been to the lake once. We agreed spontaneously that we would just take off, find a hotel on the way,and have a romantic little get-away. The pouring rain did not dampen our spirits in the least as we sped away about 4:00 p.m. on Sunday afternoon in our little silver VW Beetle. After dinner we headed up the red arrow highway, to find lodging. But alas, there was some big event and all affordable hotels were full. By this time we were both tired, it was still raining,and we agreed we would just find something. Blinking brightly through the dark was a red neon sign that said “Ray’s Motel.” (Sign #1). “Let’s just find something, I don’t care what, I told Jonathan.” We pulled in and Jonathan went to the front desk to pay for a room .. . “only $64.00,” he said triumphantly. (Sign #2). “Are you sure this place is decent?” I ask apprehensively taking note of the big red pickup truck backed up to the room beside ours with a BBQ grill chained to the front post of the front of the “motel.” (Sign #3) But we were on an adventure, so in we went. Wow. Romantic adventure out the door . . . all clothes on all night including socks and I even considered sleeping in the Beetle rather than with the “beetles” I was sure were in the room. “At least we are dry and warm, ” my husband cheerily announced.” Indeed. To this day, all we have to do is say “Ray’s” and we both break out into howls and rolling of eyes. Good memories . . . after the fact!

  9. Marian Beaman on September 24, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    Sparky spontaneity: Yesterday Cliff came home from Sam’s Club with an orchid in each hand. “They were so cheap I thought I’d get two pots so you can be inspired upstairs and down . . . !

    Spontaneity on a trip? One summer when we traveled Europe by rail, we secured our suitcases in a locker at the train station in Haarlem, tucked toothbrushes into our fanny packs and gallivanted off for an overnight in Amsterdam, thrilled at the “-bearable lightness of being.”

    You have some lovely shots here. (I wonder if you are wearing bell bottoms!)

    • shirleyhs on September 25, 2015 at 8:43 am

      Sweet Cliff has a gift for spontaneity, methinks.

      Wow, the toothbrush test for trip lightness. That must have been fun and liberating.

      Now in American hotels you don’t even have to remember to bring your own. Which reminds me that I forgot mine on this DC trip. So I went to the desk, told them my problem, and “voila” I got a new toothbrush and small tube of toothpaste.

      I don’t know if I wore bell bottoms that day, but I had a pair of white corduroys that flared at the bottom and one pair of the real-deal blue jeans when I was in grad school. They may appear in future slides turned into blog posts. 🙂

  10. Joan Z. Rough on September 24, 2015 at 5:50 pm

    I love being spontaneous. It keeps us young! I love taking roads that I’m not familiar with to see where they go and what surprises they hold. The roads in Ireland are especially great for just taking off. We once found a little perfumery on one of those roads in Burren and enjoyed an hour long visit with the man who made the perfumes. Such fun!

    • shirleyhs on September 25, 2015 at 8:46 am

      I know you have lots of great travel stories, Joan. When you married someone in the theater, you get a dramatic life. Right? 🙂

      Those roads in Ireland sound so romantic. I love finding places not in the tour guides on our own. The only problem? Someone has to drive the car! Neither of us is keen to do that at this stage of life.

      • Pat on October 6, 2015 at 7:28 pm

        It is very easy to drive around Ireland as apart from the cities the roads are very quiet with spectacular scenery. The ring of Kerry drive is not to be missed ,especially if the weather is fine. We have driven all around Southern Ireland several times and with a good sat nav we never had any problems! It’s great to stop at a small country pub for some Craic and a singsong.

        • shirleyhs on October 7, 2015 at 10:36 am

          Ooh. “Craig and a singsong.” If that isn’t an invitation to adventure, I haven’t ever heard one. Do stay in touch, I want to know more about you.

  11. Linda Gartz on September 24, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Shirley, the site of that adorable (and undoubtedly sexy) 24-year-old diving into the sleeping bag is a joy to see. TWENTY-FOUR! When I actually was that age, it seemed quite old. We all couldn’t wait to be twenty-one-and then our lives became history as the years spun along. I love the one hour jaunt for a week to Washington D.C.
    We haven’t been that spontaneous, but we did a lot of trips…just because –without a lot of planning…like camping a week in the Sonoran Desert with Bill’s brother. I won’t go into the crazy experience we had there, but read Tibetan Peach Pie by Tom Robbins for “the best remembrance of his life” for a hint. Let’s just say, I was brought to tears by the incandescent beauty of the desert in bloom.

    • shirleyhs on September 25, 2015 at 8:53 am

      Yes, we were so young. And we viewed adulthood differently then. We were eager for separation from parents and places we knew well and eager to explore and to grow up into the responsibilities while assuming we could still have fun and still have connection to our roots.

      I haven’t read Tom Robbins’ book, but I can imagine the great pleasure of sharing sudden beauty in the desert with someone you love.

  12. Janet Givens on September 25, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    Hi Shirley, I love this reminder of the joy in spontaneity. Loved too your reply to Jerry, “One sees things in old slides that could not be seen with younger eyes.” Reminds me that I’m eager to get into “my grandmother’s suitcase,” to coin a variation on a theme. (Stuart didn’t get sand in with that shaving cream I hope; that’s the first thing I thought of. Ouch).

    • shirleyhs on September 27, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      You have spontaneity baked in to your personality, Janet. Anyone who willingly takes off to the Peace Corps at the end of the career has to have a taste for adventure. You show it in both big ways and small ones every day.

      It could be that the little cup beside the styrofoam jug was actually the source of the water. And maybe we brought some with us. But that’s a thought I had after the ocean water captured my imagination. 🙂

  13. Elaine Mansfield on September 27, 2015 at 10:41 am

    So sweet. Makes me happy to imagine you and Stuart with stars in your eyes and grins on your faces. This sort of intimacy and spontaneity is one of the things I miss most about married life. I can get stuck in my routine, so I loved hearing “Let’s…” Yes, the sexiest words of all. Thank you for nurturing the fire, Shirley, and knowing it was there all along.

  14. shirleyhs on September 27, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    I can get stuck in routine too, Elaine. But I find that I need both. What’s deeply pleasurable at this stage of life is being able to choose which it will be each day.

    Hope you light a fire today, Elaine. A candle, perhaps, and nurture your memories of life with Vic. If some spontaneous idea appears in your mind, I hope you find a way to say, “Let’s” and run with it.

  15. […] Last week’s post was about the spontaneous decision to drive to Washington, DC, for a short visit. […]

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