Lisa Dale Norton

Just have to share a lovely experience because it continues the conversation about social media and “real” writing that began with this post about social media and continued when Kathy Pooler did a guest post about Twitter here last week. As I write my own memoir, I am learning to know many authors who have become mentors and friends.

I was contacted by Lisa Dale Norton on email and asked for a phone conversation. I knew and admired Lisa’s book Shimmering Images: A Handy Little Guide to Writing Memoir and read some of her excellent essays on the Huffington Post when I was starting on my own memoir journey three years ago. We’ve traded retweets on Twitter. I have “liked” her Facebook page, and she has “liked” mine.

Lisa sometimes contacts people whose posts, tweets, etc. she admires. Last week I was one of those people. She called me, and we talked for an hour on the phone. Now I picture her in Santa Fe and have another reason to love that place. My first reason was that Willa Cather made me fall in love with her masterpiece set in that place: Death Comes for the Archbishop.

Our conversation was not instrumental in any way. We asked nothing of each other. We just talked about books and memory and family stories. We connected on a level that surprised me and probably Lisa as well. Rather than a distraction in my day, the call energized me and made both of us aware that we are part of something much larger than ourselves. Our writing comes from the desire to make a little of that wideness and depth visible and audible to others as we touch it in ourselves.

Have you ever found a friend online first and then made meaningful contact offline? What are the markers of authenticity for you as you try to sort through the noise and clutter of the internet? Lisa is looking for wise voices. Do you have any to suggest? I suggest you check her and her work out if you too are seeking wisdom.

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Shirley Showalter

17 Comments

  1. Kathleen Pooler on May 16, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Shirley,

    What a delightful testimony to the power of social media in making meaningful connections! Thank you very much for the mention and link. I appreciate meeting Lisa and have subscribed to her Shimmering Images paper and am now following her on Twitter. It’s a gift that just keeps on giving. Sorting through the “noise and clutter” is always a challenge. Connecting with like-minded people like you and Lisa~ Priceless.
    Thank you for sharing!

    • shirleyhs on May 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm

      Kathy, I think you would really enjoy the book Shimmering Images if you haven’t read it. Glad to help you connect with another author and blogger. You’ve helped me in so many ways/

  2. Tina Barbour on May 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Thank you for introducing Lisa. She sounds like a wise voice indeed.

    You introduced me to Kathy Pooler and to yourself, Shirley, and I have learned from your wise voices.

    I have not had offline contact with the following, but I have am grateful to have their particularly wise voices: Tracy Spaine of My Thoughtful Spot at http://thinkingspot-tracy.blogspot.com/; Becky Green Aaronson of The Art of an Improbable Life at http://animprobablelife.com/; and Nadine Galinsky Feldman at http://nadinefeldman.com/ have written some gems, and are very kind people to boot.

    • shirleyhs on May 16, 2012 at 8:07 pm

      Wonderful, Tina. You clearly are a seeker and a generous friend. I’ve enjoyed your comments here and on my FB page so much. And I go now to explore some of your friends’ blogs. Your recommendation means a lot to me. And I’m sure Lisa will benefit also.

    • Kathleen Pooler on May 16, 2012 at 9:54 pm

      Tina,
      Thanks for your kind words and also for all the links to some of your favorite “wise voices.” I’m looking forward to checking them out!

  3. Kathleen Pooler on May 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Shirley,
    I love how we all help one another! I just ordered Shimmering Images which has been on my wish list for a while. Thanks for the nudge! My memoirist friend, Libbye Morris mentioned Lisa’s book in her guest post on my blog in April.

  4. Richard Gilbert on May 17, 2012 at 6:15 am

    I have become friends with fiction writer and memoirist Paulette Bates Alden by becoming a fan of her excellent blog and her content-rich website:

    http://paulettealden.com/?doing_wp_cron=1337249043

    We have not yet met in person, but we correspond and read each other’s work. It has been so enriching. She is a much more accomplished writer than I, but has been incredibly generous in sharing her knowledge.

    Lisa reaching out to you was probably somewhat unusual, just as my friendship with Paulette is. Many writers don’t realize that the blog world IS all about friendship and reciprocity. I follow some writers and comment regularly on their blogs who do not appear to follow other blogs, and certainly not mine. They have defined their participation level as one way, I guess, and that’s fine. But blogging is a genre, I have come to see, and although it may be a modest one, compared with books, it is one nonetheless. Literary citizenship applies. One reads in her or his genre and reaches out to others in that genre.

  5. shirleyhs on May 17, 2012 at 7:44 am

    Thanks for telling the story of how you “met” Paulette, Richard. She must have found, as I have, many riches in your own blog or she would not have started to comment on your posts. Through you, then, I met Paulette and was able to use her review of Cheryl Strayed’s Wild on this blog.http://shirleyshowalter.com/2012/05/07/cheryl-strayeds-wild-reviewed-by-her-mentor-paulette-bates-alden/

    “Deep calls to deep.” Psalms 42:7.

    I love the fact that you are okay with being a “fan” of some writers and a “friend” (online at least) of others. I think we can both be discerning (we have to be or we would do nothing except read and write other people’s work on line!) and generous.

    Love your idea of blogging as a genre also. Interesting. So many types of blogs!

  6. Sonia marsh/Gutsy Living on May 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    I can’t believe how “addicted” I am to the Internet and following my friends. You might know that I landed in Paris yesterday. I’m visiting my dad and his wife Jill and next week I’m so happy to finally meet Muriel Demarcus, in London. I met her through blogging and she’s a French woman living in the U.K. She has two young daughters and plans on writing a memoir about being French in London. I can’t wait as I’ve enjoyed so many memoirs about being American in Paris, or Australian in Paris, or British in Paris. Finally I get to read the French woman’s point of view in the U.K. Her blog is:
    I can’t believe how “addicted” I am to the Internet and following my friends. You might know that I landed in Paris yesterday. I’m visiting my dad and his wife Jill and next week I’m so happy to finally meet Muriel Demarcus, in London. I met her through blogging and she’s a French woman living in the U.K. She has two young daughters and plans on writing a memoir about being French in London. I can’t wait as I’ve enjoyed so many memoirs about being American in Paris, or Australian in Paris, or British in Paris. Finally I get to read the French woman’s point of view in the U.K. Her blog is:
    http:frenchyummymummy.com. She also submitted a “My Gutsy Story” which you may want to read here:
    http://soniamarsh.com/2011/12/my-gutsy-story-by-muriel-demarcus.html
    http:

    • shirleyhs on May 17, 2012 at 8:32 pm

      I was hoping you’d respond to this post, Sonia. You and I did this connecting in the opposite way: we met briefly in person at the Santa Barbara Writing Conference in 2008 and have been connected online since then. I am so glad you are able to meet Muriel in person. I read her gutsy story. She sounds like a wonderful person. Hope you and your dad have a great time together also. I just spent the day with my 85-year-old mother. So rich an experience. Blessings!

    • MuMuGB on May 23, 2012 at 2:41 pm

      I was very happy to meet you too Sonia, especially after so many months of connecting through blogging. I was a bit worried not to recognise you and you are so fit that I felt the need to hit the gym after we met. Sigh.

      I am very impressed with the way you manage your projects and knock at all the right doors. I think that I will have to hire you as my special adviser, if I ever manage to write this book…

      In the mean tie, I really look forward to reading your book. Let me know if I can help in any way.

  7. Sharon Lippincott on May 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    I often tell people that many (by now maybe most) of my best friends live in my computer. I haven’t met all in person, or even talked on the phone, but am open to that possibility. Two of the people I collaborate the most closely with are Linda Joy Myers and Jerry Waxler. I’ve never met either of them in person. We initially found each other online, and later talked on the phone. I’ve met a few web pals, as I’ve traveled and hope to continue doing so. The list of people I’ve met and connected with this way is long.

    I can’t recall speaking with Lisa Dale Norton, but I did blurb her book, and I know we were in touch by email at some point. The book is delightful.

    • shirleyhs on May 17, 2012 at 8:35 pm

      So glad to hear your experience, Sharon. You have picked some of the best memoir writing experts as your friends. I thought of you the other day and wondered how your Pittsburgh project is going. I haven’t forgotten.

  8. Lisa Dale Norton on May 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    I’m delighted to be part of the conversation here. Shirley, you have all sorts of interesting people following your blog. Social media can feel overwhelming to me, but when I cut through it to some old-fashioned talking, I am grateful for the connections made possible by its wide, wide web. Our call was a surprising connection, and I felt energized, too. Can’t wait to talk again!

    • shirleyhs on May 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm

      Lisa, I was hoping you would come join us! You are right about the overwhelm. Hearing a real voice and making a new friend is so refreshing. Let’s do it again!

  9. Sonia marsh/Gutsy Living on May 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Shirley, Sorry about the duplication of my comment. You can tell I’m not very skilled with writing abroad on a tiny laptop. I also had a fantastic time with Muriel in London. She is a wonderful young woman and we spoke in French and English. I posted about her today on my site. A little late, but still on the right day for the U.S. There are photos of us together. So glad I met you in Santa Barbara and stayed in touch.
    see you back in the U.S. next week; online, that is.

    • shirleyhs on May 24, 2012 at 8:47 pm

      Thanks, Sonia. I’ll go check out your story. Sounds wonderful.

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